Confusion at Concord Royale

So, the picture above is not actually of me or of anyone I know, for that matter. However, since there wasn't a camera in my car this morning to capture my look of horror, it's the best I could do to re-create the moment. Let me take you back and give you the blow-by-blow that led up to my moment of terrified realization.

First, there's an older couple that just moved into our ward. Now, I say older because I don't actually know their ages and it's probably best that I don't guess their ages just so I eliminate offending any readers of this blog that might actually be older than the aforementioned couple. Since they just moved in, they really don't know anyone else in the ward. In fact, before this morning, I'd only met the husband once and hadn't met the wife at all. This fact will become important as I continue the story.

We had Stake Conference this morning near the Oakland temple and Jen had to be there early. Since this couple just moved in, I offered to pick them up and take them there. Jen previously talked with the daughter of the couple and made arrangements for me to pick them up around 8:45 this morning. I called about 8:43 to let them know I was leaving my home but they didn't answer.

When I arrived at Concord Royale (the assisted living facility they just moved into) and got out of the car, an older gentleman in a wheelchair waved to me and started coming down the ramp. I said, "Owen?" and he nodded. I then managed to get him into the front seat of our minivan and put his wheelchair in the back. As we pulled out, I said "You're wife isn't coming?" and he said "No, she's not feeling real well this morning." He also says, "Sorry, I was just getting my tie on when you called. I don't move around as easily these days." "No problem, I'm glad I found you" I confidently reply.

We continued to drive down Clayton Road and I figured I'd better make some small talk so I asked him how he likes Concord Royale. He said it was a real nice place and that he'd been there for about a year. That didn't sound right, but you know how old people can sometimes be with their facts so I brushed it aside.

I asked him if he'd been to the temple in Oakland before and he said he didn't really remember Oakland much. Sounded reasonable. Then, I happened to glance over at him and noticed he was wearing a name tag. Only problem is -- the name tag said Len Ackerley. Now, I'm getting more nervous but I couldn't quite remember Owen's last name and I figured -- Owen, Len, that's pretty close. So, I asked him what his daughter's name is. He said Jo Ackerley and then proceeded to tell me all about how Jo kept her maiden name even after she got married. I really have no idea what he said after that because I knew for a fact that Owen's daughter's name is Phyllis. This is about the time when my face very closely resembled the picture at the beginning of the post.

OK, so I kidnapped a 93 year-old man this morning. There. I said it. Although, kidnapped seems a little strong -- besides, let's be honest, Len was no kid. So, what do I do at that point? Last thing I want to do is frighten a 93 year-old into having a heart attack in my van. How am I going to explain that one? So, I nonchalantly flip a U-turn, hoping he won't notice the panicked look on my face.

My mind is racing a million miles a minute at this point. Finally, I say: "So, Len, where were you headed this morning?" To which he replies: "1st Presbyterian Church." I casually add: "By chance, do you remember where that is, Len?" His completely unhelpful response: "I'll know it when I see it, but I'm not real good with directions these days."

So, I take him back to Concord Royale and see a man in the parking lot looking very worried. I then let Len know there may have been a little mix-up and I'm pretty sure the man in the parking lot is the one who was supposed to take him to church this morning. Sure enough, I get out and the man says, "Is that Len?" "Sure is" I reply. Just so the guy doesn't think I'm a nutcase, I explain the bizarre circumstances and he laughs. "That's alright" he says. "This is my first time picking Len up so I've never met him but when I asked inside, they said he already left."

So far, we haven't heard from the police. Another few days and I figure I'm in the clear. Fortunately, we were able to track down Owen, his wife, and his daughter after Stake Conference (yes, they made it). When we saw his daughter, she looked very familiar. It turns out she was sitting on the bench when I first got out of the car at Concord Royale. Owen and his wife were sitting next to her but were behind some bushes so I couldn't see them when I got there. His daughter (who isn't a member of our church) figured she'd made a mistake so she went home, changed clothes, and took them to Stake Conference. I guess all's well that ends well. I hope she liked it. :-)